I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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