I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
honey bunches of taint.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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