just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
