I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
