I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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