wakey wakey hands off snakey
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
