Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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