oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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