He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
