kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
