They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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