Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
