making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
