Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
