I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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