He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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