If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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