I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
