Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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