he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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