This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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