I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
accomplished twins. life is a go
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
