they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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