It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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