Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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