Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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