If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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