we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
