Im at strip club and am horny
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize