Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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