just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
