Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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