Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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