CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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