There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
