Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
