I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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