Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
