Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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