perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
