he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize