Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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