Nicole vs. Life
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
