You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
