i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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