ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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