You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
