Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
