God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
