you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
