At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
