who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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