I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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