I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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