You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
