I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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