so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
