it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
