girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
