they need to just BURY HIM!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You left your phone here
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