yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
