Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
