Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
