I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
