Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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