I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize