I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
