i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
