I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im holly from the hills drunk
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
