True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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