Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
