he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize